Home Books 08.20.18


by Carly-Ann

Love is inexact. It is not a science. It is barely a noun. It means one thing to one person, and one thing to another. It means one thing to one person at one point and then something else at another point. It doesn’t make sense. We are gathered here today to listen to the ineffable. I’m supposed to be explaining it, but I can’t explain it. I love you, it’s a mystery. Because it’s a mystery, we have to take care of it. Feed it. It can go missing, but we can’t tie it up. We can only tie it to someone else. Other people. Then the world is like this: full of the geometry of my rope tied to you, and to you, and yours tied to him, and to her, and hers to someone else. I love you, it’s a mystery. A moment of silence.

From Aja Gabel’s novel, The Ensemble

A few years ago, I did a six week course in Mindful Self-Compassion which combines the practices of mindfulness and self-compassion to promote emotional resilience and general well being. Much of the training is done through guided meditations and a significant amount of time is spent comparing our inner responses (self-talk) and our outer responses (how we treat others.)

Self-compassion involves responding in the same supportive and understanding way you would with a good friend when you have a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself.

This weekend I was reminded of my training when I found this exercise in a book I was reading and felt compelled to share it.

It will help for you to take a few deep breaths and place one or both of your hands over your heart then read – silently or aloud – through the following statements. Spend some time with any of them that really resonate with you. Go back to any that you are drawn to.

In this moment, I give myself permission to release and let go of all the pain that I have been carrying with me for all this time.

In this moment, I choose to be free from blame, free from pain and free from resentment.

In this moment, I choose to open my heart fully and let love flow in and out of my life.

In this moment, I love myself, I accept myself.

In this moment, I choose to release and let go of all the pain from my heart, my mind and my soul.

In this moment, I choose to forgive. I choose to let go. I choose to be free.

Once you have spent some time with these statements, notice how they made you feel. Come back to them or make up some of your own. Sit in quiet with them as frequently as you feel comfortable with and slowly try to let go of some of your pain or anxiety or fear. The more you practice, the more you might find that you’re focusing instead on the lightness, the beauty and the peace.


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